Copyright 2000 -- Robert Baer Jr. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "Rerun Rovers -- Part 4" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe is the property of Warner Bros. 'Batman' characters, names, situations and the 'Batman' universe is the property of Warner Bros. Dukes of Hazzard characters, names, situation and the 'Dukes of Hazzard' universe are the property of Warner Brothers and Lorimar Productions. 'Family Feud' is the property of Mark Goodson/Bill Toddman productions. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros., Lorimar Productions or Goodman/Toddman Productions in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Ben Maddog, Roger Maddog, Princess, Amos Doggie, Hannah, Gila Monster and all of the characters of the Lost Pack are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright 1997-1998. DJ is a creation of Jake Williams. Convoy is a creation of Matt Daily, Mystic McLab and Misty Maddog are creations of Bart Walls, Cobber is a creation of Mike Browner. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "Rerun Rovers -- Part 4" The scene is nighttime in Gothom City. Ben Maddog (dressed as Batman), Cobber (dressed as Robin) and Misty Maddog (dressed as Batgirl) arrive at Police Commissioner Gordon's office. Police Chief O'Hara is standing beside him. BEN (deeper voice): Yes Commissioner? GORDON (sternly): Batman, I take it you've heard of the Princess's abduction. BEN (nods): Yes I have, and I have a good idea who did it! O'HARA (excited): Glory be! I knew the Caped Crusader would have the answer! COBBER (giggles, in character): Holy Hijacked Highnesses! Who did it, Batman! MYSTIC (as a voice in Cobber's head): I like it! You make a GOOD Robin! Keep it up! BEN (turns to Cobber): Isn't it obvious, old chum! No one plays better pranks than the Joker, no one is better as sneaking around while escaping detection than Catwoman, and the only one smart enough to orchestrate this little caper is Egghead! All three broke out of Arcum Prison and all three are working together! GORDON (shocked): Extraordinary detective work, Batman! O'HARA (excited): The saints be praised for Batman and his team! BEN (sternly): Commissioner, where was the last place the Princess was seen in public? GORDON (nods): It was the Rothmore Hotel ballroom, but my men have already investigated the scene and... BEN (turns to Cobber and Misty): No time to loose! To the Batmobile! Ben, Cobber and Misty rush out the door and down the stairs. COBBER (looks at Ben): Ben, this is too easy! BEN (nods): Exactly. If I know Mystic, there's bound to be some suprises in store for us! MISTY (happy): This is SO EXCITING!!! BEN (shakes head): Misty, darling, this is no laughing matter. I believe Mystic will kill Princess if we don't rescue her first! When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Ben and Cobber hop into the Batmobile, only to hear the loud unmistakable sound "PPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT" COBBER (shocked): Holy practical jokes! Whoopie cushions! MISTY (laughing hard): Thats...so....funny! BEN (growls): I am NOT amused! (takes note taped to the steering wheel): Look Cobber, a note! (reads) The joke's on YOU dynamic dunces! You couldn't find the Princess, even if she were right under your nose.. COBBER (smiles): Holy Nasal Cavity! What does it mean, Batman? MISTY (thinking): Right under our noses..... (brightens): HEY! The subway is right under this street, right? BEN (nods): Good thinking, Batgirl! To the subway! Meanwhile, at their secret lair, Ultra (dressed like Egghead), Dizzy (dressed like the Joker) and Judy (dressed like Catwoman) are pacing back and forth as Princess, who is in a large cage, looks on sadly. DIZZY (crazy laugh): Boss! I love this gig! Great costume and all the practical joke items I could ever want! He reaches over to shake Judy's hand, the electric joy buzzer hidden in the palm of his hand causes her to shake and quiver. DIZZY (laughs hard): HA HA!!! Ain' that a good one, Judy? Judy smacks Dizzy in the face with her fist, sending him rolling over a tabletop and to the floor. JUDY (angry): SHUT UP, YOU LUNATIC!! ULTRA (growls): Quiet, BOTH of you! I'm trying to think! (looks over at Princess): Well, well, we have the traitor in our grasp at last! Let's take her and sneak out of this demented fantasy! When he says that, Mystic McLab suddenly appears in front of them, still wearing her 'Wonder Woman' costume. MYSTIC (growls): Look you three stooges! If you don't follow MY instructions to the letter, you'll lose more than just the gold I promised you! She forms a thunderbolt in her hand and throws it at them, destroying the table they are standing behind. MYSTIC (angry): Do I make myself clear? ULTRA (scared): Er....yes.... Mystic! DIZZY (hiding under a chair): VERY CLEAR!!! JUDY (hiding behind door): Crystal clear, girlfriend! MYSTIC (nods): I thought so! Now, get ready, I'll keep an eye on our (giggles): super heroes! As Mystic disappears, the scene shifts to a subway tunnel beneath Gotham City. BEN (upset): If I had my collar, we come use it to scan for Princess COBBER (brightens): Let check our utility belts! Maybe they have something like that in them! BEN (nods): Good thinking, Cobber! MISTY (smiles): Dad...er....Batman, I think I have something! It's a small box that says Bat Radar on it! BEN (smiles): Good! We can adjust the frequency finder of this thing to pick up Princess's collar signal COBBER (sadly): Assumin' Mystic didn't take her collar also Suddenly, Mystic appears in front of them in a bright flash of light. BEN (growls): Mystic! What are you doing here? MYSTIC (laughs): Hey, where are your manners? Address me as .... Wonder Mystic! COBBER (giggles): Holy inflated egos! MYSTIC (growls): That's not funny, you down under doggie! (smiles): I'm here to warn you... MISTY (confused): Warn us about what? MYSTIC (evil laugh): That the train's coming! She disappears as a subway train appears and is heading in their direction. Ben fires a Baterang out of his wrist launcher and with a shout of 'Hold on to me!' he and the others swing on the Bat cable and barely avoid the oncoming train. COBBER (excited): Crickey! That was too bloody close for comfort! BEN (growls): I'm sure Mystic has more surprises in store for us! As he is yet speaking, the ground begins to shake, chunks of rock and twisted metal begin to fall from the ceiling. COBBER (excited): Holy Chicken Little! The blinkin' tunnels' cavein' in! MISTY (smiles at Cobber): You're REALLY into this Robin role, aren't ya? BEN (pointing): We gotta get out of here! There's an exit door! As the three rush inside the door, suddenly a trap door opens beneath them. Ben, Cobber and Misty fall to the bottom of a deep pit. Although the bottom of the pit has a giant air bag to break their fall, the three still 'pass out' due to the force of the sudden drop. When the three awaken, they find themselves strapped face up on a table with a huge swinging pendulum-style axe blade swinging back and forth above them. Standing above them on a balcony are Ultra, Dizzy and Judy. DIZZY (laughs): I LOVE THIS!! Slowly the pendulum swings... closer.... and closer.. and then.. WHAM!! ULTRA (growls); This is a waste of time! I wish Mystic would've just let me kill them! JUDY (stares): I don't know.. that Cobber sure is cute looking in that Robin outfit! Suddenly, several bolts of lightning strike all around the Three Lost Pack members. MYSTIC (booming voice): You imbassels stick to the script, or you'll trade places with the Rovers! ULTRA (nervous): ok... ok.... (clears throat): So, at last, the mighty Batman is about to meet his doom! DIZZY (crazy laugh): HA HA !!! Look at the funny little surprise we have planned for you. the boy blunder and his gal Friday! JUDY (mumbles): I don't wanna act like a cat, it's degrading! Instantly, a small bolt of lightning strikes Judy in the rear end. MYSTIC (booming voice): SAY YOUR LINES, CATWOMAN!!! JUDY (screams) OOOWWWWWW!! (upset): Ok ok, geez.... MEOW! This will be the PURRRFECT end to those do-gooders once and for all! BEN (struggling): You'll never get away with this! COBBER (struggling): Holy Houdini Batman, how can we escape? ULTRA (laughs): You can't! In one more minute, the swinging pendulum will be low enough to cut you three in half! DIZZY (crazy laugh): Then we'll have a HALF off sale on used super heroes! HA HA HA!! MYSTIC (as a voice in Dizzy's head): You're TOO good at this... you really ARE demented! DIZZY (crazy laugh): Thank you, Mystic! I try my best!! HA HA HA HA !!! JUDY (smiles): This will be the Cat's Meow! Purrrr! Purrrr! (holds up three utility belts): You three dolts are helpless withouit your little toys! COBBER (struggles): Holy shoplifters! Catwoman has our utility belts! BEN (struggles): Steady Robin! MISTY (struggles): Dad, this isn't fun anymore! MYSTIC (booming voice): Will our heroes finished? Will the Joker have the Half Off Sale he desires? The best is yet to come! So, be sure to tune in... same time tommorrow.... same Bat time... same Bat channell! MISTY (happy): Good, the show's over! MYSTIC (booming voice): Not quite young collie! The Pendulum keeps swinging, time is running out on your lives! If I were you, I'd think of something quick! BEN (growls): I have! I'll use my electrical powers to superheat my outer body and burn these ropes off! Ben Maddog 'powers up' soon his entire body is glowing with a light yellow tint, smoke rises from his ropes and in a matter of seconds, he is free. BEN (points): Now, one well timed electric bolt will stop the pendulum! He shoots a small lightning bolt from his finger that strikes the rope holding the pendulum, it starts to burn through at that spot, within seconds, it has burnt through, the pendulum blade falls down only a few feet from the table. COBBER (excited): Holy close calls! MISTY (cheers): YEAH DAD ...er... I mean.... YEAH BATMAN!!! As Ben unties Cobber and Misty, the three Lost Pack members watching from above are stunned. ULTRA (shocked): NO!! I can't believe it! DIZZY (crazy laugh): Who'd have thought.... JUDY (growls): Certainly not you, Dizzy, thinking requires a BRAIN! MYSTIC (booming voice): Relax, you three idiots! I prepared for this possibility, watch! When Ben frees Misty and Cobber, soon two doors swing open with two dozen tough lookin bad guys all wearing black shirts that say 'HENCHMEN' on them surround the three heroes. COBBER (shocked): Holy chorus line Batman, what do we do now? BEN (nods): We act just like the real Batman and Robin would, have a huge fist fight! MISTY (smiles): Ok, dad....er.....Batman! The henchmen move forward, Ben and Cobber punch the first ones and swing at the next ones. Misty jumps up on the table and kicks several of the henchmen in the face. The 'brawl' rages on, Cobber and Ben keep punching bad guys until in a matter of minutes, all of them are out cold on the floor. BEN (points up): Surrender you three! The game is over! ULTRA (growls): Not eggs-actly, Bat fool! Ultra, Dizzy and Judy run back into the room where Princess is being held. Ben, Cobber and Misty follow them into it. Ultra takes Princess out of her cage and holds a knife to her throat. ULTRA (growls): This ain't part of the script, but I'm going to kill her anyway! BEN (shouting): NO!!!! Now free from the cage, Princess 'freezes' time. She pulls herself away from the 'frozen' Ultra, runs down the hallway, grabs the three utility belts and gives them to Ben, Cobber and Misty as time 'restarts.' ULTRA (surprised): WHAT???? I forgot! Princess's time stopping power! BEN (puts on belt): You're mistake, Egghead! COBBER (puts on belt): If you ask me, I think that egg's a little scrambled! MISTY (puts on belt): Good one Cobber ...er.... I mean Robin! DIZZY (crazy laugh): Hey dynamic dough-doughs! Smell MY flower! Dizzy's label flower sprays out a green gas towards them BEN (shouts): Quick! The Bat Fans! Ben, Cobber and Misty produce three mini fans that blow the gas in the other direction. It is a strong laughing gas and when it hits the three Lost Packers, they begin to laugh hysterically. ULTRA (laughing hard): You.... idiot.... we ..... got .....gassed..... instead! JUDY (laughing hard): When ... I .... stop..... laughing.... I'm..... gonna .... choke..... you! DIZZY (rolling on the floor): Gotta.....buy..... this ......stuff! BEN (smiles): Looks like this case is wrapped up! COBBER (shakes head): Not yet, we have to deliver them to Commissioner Gordon! BEN (nods): Right! They tie up Ultra, Dizzy and Judy and mnutes later arrive at the Commissioner's office with the three and Princess following behind. O'HARA (excited): Sure as Begora! The Dynamic Duo have done it again! GORDON (stands up): Joker.. Egghead.... Catwoman! (smiles): And you have the Princess too! Good work Caped Crusaders! BEN (nods): Thank you Commissioner, just doing our duty! O'HARA (shouts): All right boys, lock'm up! Policemen take Ultra and Dizzy away, Judy is the last to be taken out. JUDY (shouts): Commissioner, may I ask one last favor? GORDON (wonders): Well.... ok, but make it quick. What is it? JUDY (smiles): THIS!!! Judy gets free from her guards, grabs Ben, and gives him a long, passionate kiss. The officers break up the embrace and take her away. GORDON (sadly): Sorry, Batman, I had no idea she was going to do that.... BEN (wipes mouth): Quite alright Commissioner, no harm done! COBBER (laughs): Holy romance! (singing) Batman and Catwoman, sitting in a tree MISTY (laughing, singing): K I S S I N G!!! BEN (growls): Stop that you two or I'll give you both a Bat spanking! Suddenly, the office and all the scenary vanishes. Mystic, still dressed in her Wonder Woman costume, stands alone with them in a vast, white wasteland. BEN (growls): Ok Mystic! We won, fair and square! Let us go as you promised! COBBER (growls): Yeah, you nasty mongrel! MISTY (nods): And give us our collars back! MYSTIC (laughing): All in good time! First, you're going to join your friends, then I'll bring you all out for the final farewell episode! AWAY WITH YOU ALL!!! A black hole opens above them and sucks Ben, Misty, Cobber and Princess up into it as it closes. MYSTIC (thinking): Now, what can I do to these clods next.... hmmmmmm..... (brightens): I have it! Mystic disappears ------------------------------------------------------------------------- to be continued....